I think I might be falling into a depression.
I don’t think I’ll know for sure until I hit rock bottom or come out the other side.
I guess I’ll just keep going either way.
But I’m becoming more concerned with how happy I have to pretend to be to keep people from trying to help me change my life to fix it.
If I knew how to make it better, I would have already.
I just have to leave it be, and try not to fuck anything up because of apathy.
21 years old. Procrastinator extraordinaire. (How I came across tumblr, incidentally.) Scientist-in-training, dancer, musician, photographer. "Jack of all trades, master of none." (But trying really hard to make that "Jack of all trades, master of THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE.") Lover of film, vinyl, cats, hair dye, Scott Pilgrim, Tomas Kalnoky related things, and thrift stores. Livin life in between textbooks.
Posts tagged whine whine whine.
MUST. STAY. AWAKE.
Oh my sweet bajeezus, studying makes me sleepy as heck.
Today has been long and full of mistakes and bad luck.
I want it to be tomorrow afternoon already.
once a day.
Lately I’ve been so happy that this sudden turn of mood kind of startled me.
I think my ability to see the romance is life might be gone.
I feel like a stick in the mud.
Example:
I no longer think about moving away and starting a new life in a new city with new people and new goals to pursue.
I think about how I’m ready to move away because I know how to cook and clean and do laundry on Sundays and how I just want a job so I can be a working slob and support myself. I may not even get to leave Santa Maria for another year and a half and I don’t even get mad anymore.
I feel like a light just went out.
