Don’t mind me, I’m just going to vent so I can get back to homework slavery.
Read if you want, I guess.
So… I have been informed by my mother through someone who is currently in training for my mom’s current (and my future) job that it is really competitive to get into training and you need REAL job experience and a letter of recommendation from that job in addition to two from teachers. Like, not dance teacher job. Real job. And you need like an actually high GPA, not “Cs get degrees” because in actuality, Cs get degrees is totally true. 100% accurate. What Cs don’t get you, is a job that has the potential to put two kids through college (even if you do have to uh, refinance the house slightly). See Exhibit A: my mother, certified BAMF. I will not be her. I suck.
“So you’ll have to pull some strings and get a job around here,” she says. Yeah, no big deal. Hire your daughter, who sucks so bad she can barely get into training school, to do her externship at YOUR hospital, which you practically run because you are so much better than everyone else. That will indeed make us both look so bad, that we will just have to die.
So, moral of the story: Aniela stays in motherfucking Bullshitville, CA for another 3-5 years. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE.
I was supposed to go somewhere.
I was the only fucking person making the so-called “right” decisions, picking a career that would help the world and make money to do the things I love and give me stability and help me raise a family someday.
So I give up everything I love. I give up my dedication to art and music and time with friends for the 9-11 months of the year for what was supposed to be only 4 years, so I can make money and finally have the life I want and what do I get? A degree that’s going to take an extra year, a training program that’s impossible to get into, and a 5-year death sentence to the central coast. Fuck this place. I was supposed to be moving to San fucking Francisco in 6 months. But too bad. I suck. At everything.
Bad choices upon bad fucking choices.
It’s really sad when the only thing you can think of about your life that’s good is that you haven’t gotten pregnant accidentally.
FUCKING FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ME.
